Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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