i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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