i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
