i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
why do cheetos always look like penises
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Randomize
