Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
