"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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