Soap is not a condiment
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
