What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
