she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I just forgot I was standing up.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
My life is pants optional.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
