this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
