Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
