; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Randomize
