whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
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