i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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