Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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