i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
