listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
