It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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