We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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