I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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