You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
