Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
