Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
