I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
