We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Boobs speak an international language.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
