I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
