You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Randomize
