why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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