I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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