Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
