I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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