are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
My vagina just clenched in fear
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
