she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Randomize
