You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
