Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize
