We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Watching her eat just hurts me
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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