So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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