apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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