Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
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