i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Randomize
