no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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