I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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