How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
