I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
