You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
