She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
