so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
