it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
