i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
