normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I did not marry a roomba.
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